Hero's Diary: Day 1, Part 9
10/12/13 at 13:26 EST

"But you see, International Broadcast Copyright Protection laws on Earth don't apply here," Pirohiko reasoned with Etranger as I began paying attention to a conversation I couldn't care less about. Given that my ability to pay attention to what they were discussing implied that nothing in the immediate vicinity was trying to kill me, I accepted it as a welcomed change of pace.

"That doesn't matter!" she bit back. "How the hell would telepathically broadcasting Pay-Per-View movies into the retinas of Bizarro Earth denizens help anyone with anything?!"

"Well..." Pirohiko put his thinking cap on, which I discovered was literally a Poker visor with the letters "Thinking" etched into it. "We could charge them a small fee for the service, which we could use to buy equipment and all sorts of technology that will help the Unlosing Ranger in his battle against Darkdeath Evilman!"

Etranger smacked Pirohiko in the back of his head. "That is the dumbest..." she paused, fist still at the ready. Pirohiko also paused. He was cowering more-so than pausing, really. "Wait," Etranger whispered. "Somebody's here..."

My grip tightened on the frying pan I had been using to defend myself up to this point. I found the Wok underneath the corpse of a morbidly obese ravenous dog, and thought it'd be better if I just took it without asking questions.

There was a loud banging sound echoing from a cavern up ahead. It sounded like someone was mining, or constructing a machine, or fixing a carburetor. Then, the cries of a whiny old man followed.

"That's it!" Etranger declared, taking off toward the source of the noises. "Let's go see him!"

"See who?" Pirohiko asked. He took off his thinking cap and put it back on again.

Etranger let this one slide. "Gaspacho!"

I get the feeling I'm about to get dragged into something. I should probably pay attention this time. Knowing what to expect has been bad enough so far, but the surprises tend to be far, far worse.
Tagged under: ZHP
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