Hero's Diary: Day 1, Part 7
10/12/08 at 22:01 EST

I'm going to try to collect my thoughts, here.

While I was getting groceries one day - that's today, actually - I was a witness to a car accident in which a strangely-dressed pedestrian lost his life. In his dying breaths he forced an ugly, over-sized belt and a huge responsibility onto me - one I never asked for.

After he dies, I find myself on the set of a bizarre media-recording-in-progress in which a giant in a metal lion suit wants to kill me for dressing like a Saturday-morning-cartoon Super Hero. There's also a magical baby there, for some reason, floating in the air, watching.

The next part is a little blurry and I can't remember what happened. But the next thing I know, I wake up on a hunk of metal shaped like a bed in Outer Space, where some bratty kid in a bunny hat, Etranger, and the man I watched die that afternoon, Pirohiko, squabble to one another about sending me into some "dungeon that even a monkey could beat" because I need to "train" so that I can defeat "the final boss, Darkdeath Evilman".

I knew they were crazy just for thinking that up. So here I am, in a damned volcano, dressed like a Saturday-morning-cartoon Super Hero, running for my life as I'm being chased by unintelligible men in gimp suits.

And Pirohiko and Etranger thought it would be a great idea if they followed me in.

I will regret these words, but I'd like to see what unbelievable nonsense comes my way next.
Tagged under: ZHP
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